Mamas. Let’s chat. This #momlife is crazy. Being a mother is amazing; I adore my kid and absolutely positively cannot imagine my life without him. But there are just so many things that fill up my days, weeks, months that sometimes I feel like I might go a little bonkers. Between working full time, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, the dog, maintaining a house and cars, shuttling the kid to school and all of the fun activities, budgeting, you know all the things. There are so many more! I feel hives breaking out as I think of all the stuff on my totally made-up “to do” list.
And sweet Mother of Mercy, three year olds are insane. I understand the term “threenager” now. He’s a tiny dictator, skilled in manipulation. He’s simultaneously adorable, hilarious and maddening. There are times you’d think there is a teenager in the house the way we fight (ex: meltdowns because I flushed his pee instead of him). Other times he has me rolling on the floor laughing (ex: “Mama I slept in my bed all last day…maybe you buy me a new toy or somethin’?”) or bawling because he is so compassionate and sweet (ex: grabs my face with his hands and says “I love you Mama, you know that?”). Its a daily roller coaster of alllll the feels over here.
Plus, lets just add the fact that I am completely and totally in charge of ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. There’s no manual for that…I’m just making shit up as I go along and hoping to God that something sticks and I raise a kind, compassionate human who spreads love in this crazy world.
After taking care of all of that on a daily basis, the last pieces to get any sort of priority or attention is my marriage and myself, which are arguably the most important to nurture and care for. But when you are just going through the motions and rocking your routine, you think, look at me I’ve got this…don’t stop doing or moving. Then all of the sudden, the craziness just hits to you…like you’ve been treading water for too long and you just have to slow down and cling to the side of the pool for a bit. Then you think to yourself, maybe I should have slowed down, maybe those little things aren’t so important, maybe I need to take a break from the madness. Every time this happens to me, I promise myself I’ll be more proactive and not let myself get to the point of collapse…to let go a bit, to ask for help. It appears I have a lot of conversations with myself 🙂
Why is it so flipping hard to take time for ourselves?! Why do we feel guilty when we do?! We are our own worst enemy, I’m convinced…at least this is the truth in my case. Nobody gives me pressure to do all of the things. I do that to myself! Well, at least admitting you have a problem is the first step…
Self care is a huge goal for me, but one that continues to be so hard. Once I’m stressed, I make myself take time, but it continues to be a challenge for me to be proactive. This summer I had many built-in occasions that allowed me to take time for myself. Between a summer celebration of a college friend’s elopement, an NYC birthday weekend for my lovely mama, and a bachelorette weekend for a dear friend, I had a lot of fun trips. Oh, and some seriously good girlfriend time. It was good for my soul. I did miss my boys while I was gone and there were some times I let the guilt creep in. But overall, this summer was a reminder of how many wonderful people I have in my life and how lucky I am to have a support network that encourages me to take care of myself.
Here are a few snapshots of my summer adventures:
BFF reunion & classy celebration of recent nuptials
Feast at Chelsea Market
Mama Cheater Bite & I in Times Square
Bacheloretting in Folly Beach
Celebrating this sassy gal becoming a Mrs.
This weekend, I get to spend away with my wonderful hubby for more celebrating: a wedding in Baltimore and my sis-in-law’s 30th birthday celebration in Arlington. Its going to be great and I’m going to savor every minute, so that next week, when I’m stressed and feeling weighed down by all of the “should do’s,” I’m going to stop and be thankful for the time to celebrate.
So really, all this self care business is not only good for the mama, but for the whole family. How do you all take time for self-care? Please share your wisdom!!
Let’s help each other do better at this! Hands in ladies…